Full Circle

Title: Full Circle
Author: Spikedluv
Fandom: American Idol
Rating: PG13/Slash
Pairing: Kris/Adam
Length: 2135 words
Spoilers: None.
Summary: Kris and Adam had been asked back to perform live on the American Idol series finale, and of course they’d both agreed.
Notes: Post-Idol; totally self-indulgent fluff. Written for kradam_kiss in response to untamedfilly’s prompt: I would love to see the boys have an impromptu kiss on live tv, preferably when the two of them are asked by back to AI season 9 for some special reason for the two of them to be there together.
Feedback: Would be appreciated.
Disclaimer: This is not real. And sadly, neither Adam nor Kris belong to me.
Written: March 21, 2010

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Kris and Adam had been asked back to perform live on the American Idol series finale, and of course they’d both agreed. Kris owed Idol a lot, but he would be lying if he said that going back to where they’d started, where they’d first met and become such good friends, hadn’t been a huge part of his reason for saying yes.

When Kris had approached Adam and asked if he wanted to do something together, Adam had lit up and said, “Oh my god, yes, of course!”

Together they worked on the arrangement for a song that Kris had written. It was about change, and letting go, and moving on. He’d written it in the months after he and Katy had divorced, when he realized that Katy (and everyone else in the world) had been right, and he’d fallen in love with Adam Lambert.

Of course Kris hadn’t told Adam that, yet, not even when he caught the looks Adam gave him as they worked on the song. It wasn’t that Kris didn’t want Adam to know, he just didn’t know how to tell him to make him believe it. Kris wondered, though, how long it would take the millions of people watching to figure out what Kris’ lyrics meant.

Now they were sitting backstage in the private green room waiting for it to be their turn to perform. Kris thought he should be a little bit more nervous about this particular performance than he was, but somehow being around Adam had always had a calming influence on him. Kris smiled at the imagined shock on the faces of anyone he told that being around the energetic Adam Lambert was sometimes the only way that Kris could relax and unwind.

Adam nudged Kris with his elbow. “What are you smiling about?”

“Just thinking about you,” Kris admitted, and then smiled wider at the pleased expression that Adam couldn’t hide.

Just then the door opened and someone poked their head into the room. “We’re ready for you,” she told Adam and Kris.

Kris stood and buttoned his jacket, tugged at it.

“You look fine,” Adam said, reaching out and smoothing his hands over the lapels.

They’d both dressed similarly, and for Adam a bit conservatively. Kris missed the leather pants, but he also loved the form-fitting slacks that Adam wore with a black button down (the top three buttons undone) and a black jacket. Kris’ outfit was the same, except he’d gone for a red button down and only had two buttons undone.

Adam’s eyes were lined in black and smudged with purple shadow that enhanced the gorgeous blue that Kris often got lost in, and Kris had even let Adam put a bit of eyeliner around his eyes, though he’d drawn the line at shadow. Adam had declared him perfect, and he’d looked at Kris with such love that Kris had wanted to kiss him. Adam had moved away and started packing up his make up, and the moment had passed.

“So do you,” Kris said.

To hide his blush, and also because he just wanted to, Kris took a step towards Adam, who automatically opened his arms and wrapped them around Kris once he’d thrown himself against him. People would probably shake their heads if they knew that Adam had to be the voice of reason and break their hug so they could get out on stage.

They walked through the halls shoulder to shoulder, Kris manfully resisting the urge to reach out and squeeze Adam’s hand until finally someone shoved a microphone at him and affixed the pack at his lower back beneath his jacket. Kris did allow himself to brush Adam’s hand for luck before he was led off to take his place.

Kris closed his eyes and took a deep breath, centering himself as he listened to Ryan’s voice as he brought them back from the commercial break. Ryan announced Kris, and the panels swept back and Kris stepped out on stage. The band started playing and Kris automatically counted down to his mark. He opened his mouth and the lyrics – about love lost and found again – just poured out of him.

At the chorus, Adam stepped out onto the stage from the side and joined him to thunderous applause. Kris couldn’t help smiling at the welcome Adam received. Adam smiled back, and then they both lost themselves in the song.

As the last note faded away they stood facing each other, and Kris wondered if the expression on Adam’s face was merely from the song, and hoped that maybe some of it was for him. As the sound of applause broke through, Kris turned and faced the audience, smiled and waved. He turned back to Adam, who had always been there for him, and as he’d done so many times before on a stage very much like this one, he threw himself at Adam, and Adam’s arms, as they always had, opened to welcome him.

Kris buried his face in Adam’s chest, just enjoying the feel of him, then tipped his head back and smiled up at Adam, who returned his smile tenfold. Adam leaned down and brushed his lips over Kris’ forehead, and then made to step back and release him. Before he could, though, Kris tightened his arms around Adam, who hesitated, giving Kris a questioning look.

Kris hadn’t planned it, but the moment felt right, and he suddenly realized there would never be a perfect time, would never be a better time than now. He raised up on his toes and pressed his lips to Adam’s.

When Kris pulled back, Adam looked stunned. He couldn’t hear Adam over the crowd in the auditorium, but he saw Adam’s lips form the word, “Kris?”

“Adam,” Kris said, and then leaned up for another kiss.

Adam stood stiff against him, unresponsive, and Kris thought that maybe he’d just made the biggest mistake of his life. And then Adam moaned Kris’ name against his lips and brought one hand up to the back of his head and held him there as he finally kissed Kris back.

They only broke apart when Kris remembered that they were standing on a stage, their kiss being observed (and recorded for later reviewing) by millions of people. But Kris couldn’t make himself move away from Adam, afraid that if he let go of Adam he might find out that this was all a dream.

“Well,” Ryan said when they finally gave him their (divided) attention, “that was an amazing performance guys. I mean the song,” he added after a pause.

Kris laughed along with the audience. He released Adam with the hand that held the microphone, keeping the other arm around Adam’s back, his hand fisted in Adam’s jacket just in case Adam decided to make a run for it, and covered his face a little bit.

“On a positive note, I think our ratings just went through the roof,” Ryan said, and Kris had to look up at Adam, who smiled back at him. Adam tightened the arm still around Kris’ shoulder, and that’s when Kris knew that everything was going to be all right.

“I was going to ask what you two had planned next, but now I’m not sure that’s appropriate for prime time television.”

Kris laughed again, even as his cheeks heated up. He’d never realized he could blush (or laugh) this much.

“Well, Adam’s working on an album,” Kris said, and Adam gave him a look that said he knew Kris was taking the heat off himself, but he let Kris off the hook and went into a practiced spiel about his new album.

While Adam was talking, Kris thought ahead to telling their family and friends. Suddenly Kris remembered a talk he’d once had with his mother about working up the courage to tell Adam how he felt. “Oh, crap,” he muttered out loud, and he knew he probably wore a deer in the headlights expression.

“What’s wrong?” Adam asked, and Ryan was also looking at him a little worried.

Instead of answering, Kris looked directly into one of the cameras and waved. “Hi, Mom.” He raised his hand to his ear, making a telephone gesture as well as he could since he was still holding the microphone, and mouthed, “I’ll call you.”

“She gonna be upset?” Ryan asked, and Adam had gone tense beside him.

Kris smiled up at Adam and bumped him with his hip. “Only if she didn’t DVR this.”

Adam laughed at that, and it was the most beautiful sound in the world to Kris. Adam tapped his free hand to his pocket and said, “Uh oh, I think she’s calling me now.”

Kris laughed at that. He was feeling so light, as if he’d been filled up with helium, and had to force himself to be serious when Ryan said, “So, Kris, what do you have lined up next?”

“I’ve got a couple of concerts scheduled. I’ll be opening for some professional bull riding events.”

“And he’s taking me with him,” Adam announced.

They hadn’t talked about it, since Adam was working on an album, but now that he’d mentioned it, Kris was so taking Adam with him. There was no way they were going to be separated so soon after Kris had finally worked up the courage to tell – well, show – Adam how he felt.

“Bull riding,” Ryan said, sounding skeptical. “I wouldn’t have thought that was your type of thing, Adam.”

“Two words, Ryan,” Adam said. “Leather. Chaps.”

Kris cracked up at that, and he almost missed hearing Ryan send them to commercial.

~*~*~*~

Arms still around each other, they were escorted off the stage, mike packs removed, and then back to the green room with Ryan’s, “I don’t know how we’re going to top that,” ringing in their ears.

As soon as the door closed behind them, Kris went up on his toes and pulled Adam in for another kiss. Adam hummed happily into Kris’ mouth and let Kris have the lead for about ten seconds, before he had to drag Kris up against him and deepen the kiss.

When they finally broke for air, Adam said, “Do you have to call your mom?”

Kris looked at him askance. “Are you kidding me? And have her yell at me for not telling her I was planning this?”

“You had this planned?”

“No! I mean, I’ve been thinking about it. Telling you, I mean, not, you know.” Kris made a gesture that he hoped Adam understood to mean, kiss you on the stage in front of millions of people. “I kept waiting for it to be the right time, and I worried that you wouldn’t believe me, and then we were just standing there, and it seemed appropriate, you know, to do it here, now.”

“On national television?”

“Well, okay, not that part.”

“Full circle,” Adam said then.

“Yes, exactly,” Kris said, and hugged Adam tight just for getting him.

“There’s something I’ve been wondering,” Adam said, his lips brushing Kris’ hair.

“What?”

“That song.”

Kris had been waiting for Adam to say something. “Yeah?”

“Did you write that for me?”

“Yes. Idiot. It took you long enough to figure it out.”

Adam laughed. “Why didn’t you just tell me?”

Kris pouted. “I was trying to be subtle.”

“Subtle? Baby, you wrote me a love song. We just sang it as a duet on national television. And then you kissed me. Subtle you aren’t.”

Kris laughed into Adam’s shirt. He wanted to kiss Adam once more, but he also wanted to stay right there where he was, snugged up against Adam and being held like Adam would never let him go again.

“Are you really going with me, for the concerts?”

“That depends,” Adam said as he moved them towards the couch. “Are you going to wear chaps on stage?”

Kris laughed. One thing he could always count on with Adam was laughter. Adam went down onto the couch, and Kris crawled after him, straddling his lap.

“I’ll do you one better,” Kris said as he kissed Adam’s face, “I’ll wear them in the bedroom.”

Adam moaned. He grabbed Kris’ hips and held him as he raised his own. It was Kris’ turn to moan. He brought his lips to Adam’s again, and there was nothing slow or tentative about this kiss. Adam’s hands moved up Kris’ back while Kris cradled Adam’s face.

Kris whined when Adam stopped kissing him, but Adam said, “Hey, should we talk?”

“We probably should,” Kris agreed, “but can we do it later? I think I’m getting pretty good at this showing not telling thing.”

Adam laughed into Kris’ mouth as Kris kissed him again, and Kris thought that might be his new most favorite thing ever.

The End